life
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Disruption
I like to listen to podcasts when I go for my morning walks. This morning I listened to Are You Living a Good Life? from 10% Happier with Dan Harris. In it, they talk about noticing and acting upon the positive disruptions in your life. Those small moments when you realize you need to pivot.… Continue reading
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Flexibility
This year I am practicing flexibility. This is not something that comes easily to me. I can be quite rigid: in my thinking, in my eating habits, in my routines. I once had a professor who told us that inflexibility can be thought of as psycho-arteriosclerosis – arteriosclerosis of the mind. We all know the… Continue reading
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Spiraling Upwards
During the student orientation of my master’s degree program, the president of our college told us about her theory of learning: “It’s like a spiral,” she said. “You will keep circling back to topics you have already learned, but forgotten. Yet with each pass through, you will notice that you have reached a new level… Continue reading
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Taking Great Pains
There is the kind of pain that takes your breath away but then mercilessly leaves you alone after a short while. An electric jolt when you stub your toe in the middle of the night. The surprising sharpness of a paper cut. The sting of fumes when you chop onions. And then there’s the pain… Continue reading
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Phoenix Rising
I am not the me I was before all this began. The grieving process, for the me that used to be, has been punishing. It’s like attending your own funeral even though you are still alive. At the beginning, I felt completely broken. Like a stranger in my own body. Watching it fall apart from… Continue reading
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Life as an Ex-Pat
I live in a country that’s not mine. A country where they speak a language within the language that I had to learn in order to live and work here. Sometimes, if I am lucky, I can understand the local dialect. But only when I relax my mind and lean into the way they shape… Continue reading
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Riding the Tides
Three days after I started taking prednisolone (30mg), I got sick. Really sick. A nasty cold that completely took away my taste and smell. No fever, no chills. Just coughing, phlegm, and a nose that filled the thickest tissue with one blow. After two weeks on prednisolone, I was talked into getting four vaccines, all… Continue reading
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Leaning into Self-Tolerance
Every year, around November/December, I pick a word for the upcoming year. Something actionable, something to focus on for the year. Something that will guide me in my actions. I learned this tradition from a dear friend of mine, one of those friends that gets you just the way you are. No explaining needed. For… Continue reading
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Finding My Own Way to a Correct Diagnosis
Like most, my autoimmune journey started with a misdiagnosis. Though it begged me to advocate for myself, this was a skill that I simply did not possess and one that would take me years to hone. I accepted the original diagnosis in 2011 of active Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) with secondary Sjögren’s Syndrome and overlapping psoriatic… Continue reading
All Flared Up 